The short answer
There is very little you need to do to prepare for your MIAM. It helps to think about the issues you want to resolve, jot down any questions, and have a quiet, private space for the call. There is no paperwork to complete and nothing to revise, the mediator guides the conversation.
Key facts
- A MIAM appointment lasts about an hour and is usually attended on your own.
- Most appointments are held by video call, so you can attend from home.
- You do not need documents or legal knowledge, just a sense of what you want to sort out.
- It helps to find a private space where you can talk openly and without interruption.
Tip: you can work through everything in this guide with our free MIAM preparation checklist, which you can fill in online, save or download.
If your first meeting with a mediator is coming up, it is natural to wonder how to prepare for a MIAM. The good news is that there is not much to do. A MIAM appointment is a conversation, not an exam, and the mediator leads it. Still, a little thought beforehand can help you get more from the hour.
This guide covers what to think about before your MIAM, what happens during the appointment, how to prepare for an online MIAM, and the questions worth asking while you have a mediator’s full attention.
How to prepare for your MIAM appointment
A MIAM is an assessment meeting. The mediator listens to your situation, explains your options, and works out whether mediation could be suitable. You are not expected to arrive with a plan or a position worked out. The most useful preparation is simply to arrive with a clear head about what you would like to resolve, and an open mind about how.
What to think about before your MIAM
A few minutes of reflection before the appointment goes a long way. It can help to think through:
- The issues you most want to sort out, whether that is arrangements for the children, finances, the family home, or all of these.
- What a good outcome would look like for you, and what you are worried about.
- Any practical facts the mediator may ask about, such as who the children currently live with, or roughly what assets are involved.
- Whether there is anything about safety or your circumstances the mediator should know.
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What happens during the MIAM appointment
Knowing the shape of the meeting takes the nerves out of it. The mediator will ask about your situation, explain how mediation and the alternatives work, check whether mediation is safe and suitable, and look at how your case could be funded. At the end, you decide together what happens next. For the full sequence, see our guide to the MIAM process explained, and a closer look at what happens at a MIAM.
Preparing for an online MIAM
Most people attend an online MIAM by video, which the family court treats exactly the same as meeting in person. To prepare, find a private room where you will not be overheard or interrupted, test that your camera and microphone work, and have a glass of water and a notepad to hand. A phone appointment is fine too if video is difficult.
From our sister service, Family Law Service
Want legal advice before you decide?
Some people like to understand their legal position before mediation. Family Law Service offers a fixed-fee, one-hour session with a family law specialist, separate from the mediation itself.
The people who get the most from a MIAM are not the ones with the thickest folder of paperwork. They are the ones who have thought honestly about what they want and what they are afraid of. Bring that, and the hour does its job.
Questions to ask your mediator at the MIAM
A MIAM is your meeting, so use it. Mediators expect questions and welcome them. You might ask:
- Is my situation suitable for mediation, and if not, what would you suggest instead?
- How many sessions might we need, and how long does the process usually take?
- What happens if we cannot agree on everything?
- How is what we discuss kept confidential?
Questions about MIAM cost and funding
It is sensible to ask about money at the meeting. Useful questions include whether you qualify for legal aid, whether the £500 Family Mediation Voucher Scheme could apply, and what each stage costs. We set this out in full in our guide to how much a MIAM costs and when it is free, with the headline figures on the MIAM cost page and details of free MIAMs with legal aid.
After your MIAM appointment: what comes next
Once the appointment is over, you will either move on to joint mediation, or, if mediation is not the right route, receive your signed MIAM certificate so you can apply to court. Our guide to your options after a MIAM walks through every route from here.
You don’t have to go through this on your own. The Divorce Circle is a free, private community where people across England and Wales share experiences and support each other through separation and divorce.
Preparing for your MIAM: frequently asked questions
What do I need to bring to a MIAM?
How long does a MIAM appointment take?
Will my ex-partner be in the MIAM with me?
Can I prepare for the MIAM online from home?
Should I get legal advice before my MIAM?
Still have questions?
If you would like to talk through what to expect before you book, we are happy to help. A free 15-minute call comes with no obligation.
Sources & further reading