MIAM Checklist Tool: Prepare for Your MIAM

Last reviewed · 26 July 2026 · Jess Knauf, Director of Client Strategy

This checklist is yours

You do not need to send this back to us, and you do not need to bring anything to your MIAM. It is simply here to help you feel calm, clear and prepared. There are no right or wrong answers.

Tick off anything you have already thought about, jot down any questions you would like to ask, and bring it along to your meeting if you find it helpful. You can fill it in on screen, or download a printable copy below.

Download a printable copy (PDF)

Section 1

How your MIAM works

A MIAM is a short, friendly meeting, usually around an hour, with an accredited family mediator. It is a chance to learn how mediation works and to talk through your situation in confidence. Because you meet separately from the other person, you can speak openly.

Mediation is voluntary. You are never made to agree to anything you are not happy with.

Everything you say is confidential and treated as without prejudice.

The mediator is impartial. They do not take sides and they do not give either of you legal advice.

Your MIAM is held separately from the other person’s. You will not be in the same room at this stage.

You and the mediator decide together whether mediation is right for you.

If mediation is suitable, the mediator will explain what happens next and the likely timescale.

I have a rough idea of what I would like to get out of mediation.

It is completely normal to feel nervous before a MIAM. Tick anything that is on your mind, so you remember to raise it with your mediator.

I am worried we will simply end up arguing.

I am worried about being in the same room as the other person.

I am not sure I will be able to say what I really think.

I am worried about how much this might cost.

I am not sure whether mediation is right for us.

Questions I would like to ask about the process

Section 2

Parenting checklist

If you have children, mediation can help you agree arrangements that work for them and for both of you. It helps to think ahead about the practical things, as well as how you will share information with each other.

The everyday routine: where the children live and the time they spend with each parent.

School holidays, half terms and inset days, and how you would like to share them.

Special occasions: birthdays, Christmas, religious or cultural events and other important days.

Handovers: where they happen, when, and how you would both like them to work.

How you will communicate about the children day to day.

Travel, holidays abroad and arrangements for passports.

Whether your children might value the chance to share their views through child-inclusive mediation.

What you would like to stay the same for the children, and what may need to change.

Good to know: if your mediation involves arrangements for the children, you may be able to use the government’s family mediation voucher scheme, which puts up to £500 towards the cost of your joint mediation. Ask your mediator whether your case qualifies.

My questions and notes about the children

Section 3

Finances checklist

If you are sorting out money and property, a little preparation goes a long way. You do not need any of this for your MIAM, but it helps to start thinking about it now.

My reasonable living costs: what I realistically need to live on each month.

My housing needs: how many bedrooms I need, and whether a court would see that as reasonable.

My mortgage capacity: roughly how much I might be able to borrow.

The family home and any other property, and what each of us would like to happen.

Savings, debts, and any other assets or liabilities.

Pensions: it is worth asking each pension provider for a free cash equivalent value (CEV) now, as they can take up to three months to send it.

Child maintenance, and spousal maintenance where it is relevant.

Starting to gather your financial paperwork (bank statements, payslips, pension statements). You do not need this for your MIAM, but it saves time later.

Good to know: mediation works on full and frank financial disclosure, which simply means you both share a complete and honest picture of your finances. Nothing is hidden, and nothing is left out.

My questions and notes about finances

Section 4

Your options

Mediation is one of several ways to sort things out. It helps to know your options, including what you would do if you cannot agree on everything in mediation.

Worth knowing: if matters do reach court, a judge will expect both of you to have made reasonable efforts to resolve things first, and mediation is one of the main ways to show that. Judges are increasingly referring cases back to mediation, and a judge may order legal costs against a person who has declined to mediate without good reason.

I understand mediation is voluntary, and either of us can choose to stop at any time.

I have thought about what I would like to happen if we cannot agree on everything.

I know there are other routes, such as solicitor negotiation, arbitration or, as a last resort, court.

I understand that some people apply to court while still trying to reach agreement through mediation, so no time is lost if matters can still be settled.

I would like to ask about legal aid and the family mediation voucher scheme, in case I qualify for help with costs.

I understand that if a court form needs completing, this can be arranged for me.

A helpful tip: many people find that a single session of legal advice alongside mediation gives them real peace of mind. It is something worth asking your mediator about.

Options I would like to ask about

Section 5

After my MIAM

Once your MIAM is finished, you will leave with a clear idea of your next steps. Here is what usually happens.

If mediation is suitable, the other person will be invited to their own separate MIAM.

Mediation can begin straight away on parenting matters, and on financial matters as soon as your financial disclosure is complete.

If you decide not to mediate, you can ask for a MIAM certificate for court.

I know how to book my mediation sessions when I feel ready.

I have thought about whether a session of legal advice alongside mediation would help me.

I have noted any documents or information I would like to gather before the first session.

Anything else I want to remember

Ready to save or download your checklist?

To keep your own copy with your ticks and notes, save this page as a PDF. On a computer, press Ctrl + P (or Cmd + P on a Mac), then choose Save as PDF. On a phone, open your browser’s share or menu button, choose Print, then save.

Prefer a fresh, blank copy to print and fill in by hand? Download one below.

Download a printable copy (PDF)

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From the team behind Mediate UK, rated 4.8 out of 5 from 715+ client reviews.

Ready when you are

If you have not done so already, you can book your MIAM online with a named, accredited mediator. If you qualify for legal aid, your MIAM is free.

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This checklist is private. You are welcome to keep it for yourself and you never have to share it with anyone.
Reviewed by Jess Knauf, Director of Client Strategy, MIAM UK