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Conducted to the FMC Standards

What happens at a MIAM?

At a MIAM, a Family Mediation Council accredited mediator explains how mediation works, gives you information about your options out of court, and assesses whether mediation is safe and suitable for your situation. You attend on your own, it takes about an hour, and it follows a set running order.

By the end you will know whether mediation can go ahead, what it would involve, and what your next step is. If mediation is not suitable or your ex-partner declines, you leave with the court form the mediator has signed.

Last reviewed · 12 June 2026 · Jess Knauf, Director of Client Strategy

Running order follows the FMC MIAM Standards & Good Practice Guidance · Court forms signed under FPR r.3.9(1)

~1 hourOne meeting. Mediators record the reason if a MIAM runs under 45 minutes.
On your ownYou attend separately. Your ex-partner has their own MIAM.
Online or in personBy video call, by phone in some cases, or face to face. All equally valid.
Outcome in writingYou leave with clear next steps, and a signed court form if you need one.

The running order

A MIAM, stage by stage

The Family Mediation Council sets out a suggested structure for a MIAM in its Standards and Good Practice Guidance. This is the order our mediators work to. Every stage is explained properly on the day, at your pace.

  1. Confidentiality and the principles of mediation

    Your mediator starts by explaining that what you say is confidential, with limited exceptions, mainly where there is a risk of harm to a child or an adult, or a legal duty to disclose. They explain that mediation is voluntary, that the mediator stays impartial and does not take sides, and that they cannot give you legal advice.

  2. Information about mediation and the alternatives

    The mediator explains how mediation works in practice, what it can and cannot resolve, realistic costs and timescales, and how it compares with going to court. They also explain the other routes available, such as solicitor negotiation, collaborative law and arbitration, so you can make an informed choice rather than a default one.

  3. A safety and wellbeing assessment

    This is the assessment part of the meeting, and it is taken seriously. Using sensitive, structured questions, the mediator screens for domestic abuse, coercive control, child safeguarding concerns and any power imbalance that would make joint mediation unsafe or unfair. Because each person attends separately, these questions can be asked and answered openly.

  4. The suitability decision

    Drawing on that assessment, the mediator decides whether mediation is appropriate, and you and your ex-partner each have a say too. Mediation only goes ahead if it is safe, suitable, and both of you are willing. If it is not right, that is a valid outcome, not a failure.

  5. Your next steps, in writing

    You finish with a clear plan. That might be dates for joint mediation sessions, a court form the mediator has signed so you can apply, or signposting to other support. Nothing is decided about your children or finances at the MIAM itself; it sets the direction.

Who conducts your MIAM

Your MIAM is conducted by one of our named family mediators, each accredited by the Family Mediation Council (FMCA). That accreditation does two things: only an FMCA mediator is qualified to carry out the safety assessment properly, and only an FMCA mediator can sign the court form that lets your application proceed, under rule 3.9(1) of the Family Procedure Rules.

You can see who our mediators are, with their accreditations and a link to verify each one on the FMC’s public register, on our mediators. We think you should be able to check that the person conducting your meeting is exactly who we say they are.

How to prepare for your MIAM

You do not need to prepare a case or bring documents. A MIAM is about understanding your options, not arguing your position. That said, a little thought beforehand helps you get more from the hour:

Worth thinking about Why it helps
What you would like to sort out Children’s arrangements, finances, or both. It helps the mediator point you to the right process.
Any safety concerns So the mediator can assess suitability properly and keep any process safe.
What you have already tried Direct conversations, solicitors, earlier agreements. It shapes what comes next.
The other person’s contact details So the mediator can invite them to their own MIAM, if mediation may be suitable.
Any questions you have About cost, timescales, legal aid, or how mediation actually works.

Watch: six steps to a successful MIAM.

 

What happens after the MIAM?

Where you go next depends on the outcome of the assessment:

Outcome What happens next
Mediation suitable, both willing Joint sessions are arranged. Child arrangements cases typically take two to three sessions; finance cases three to four. The £500 voucher scheme may contribute towards child-related sessions.
Your ex-partner will not attend The mediator records this and signs your court form. You can apply to court.
Mediation not suitable The mediator signs your court form and signposts other support where helpful.
An exemption applies You may not need a MIAM at all. See MIAM exemptions.

If court is the route, you do not have to face the paperwork alone. See after your MIAM for how we and our sister service can help.

If you want to feel ready beforehand, our free MIAM preparation checklist covers the documents and questions most people find useful.

Book your MIAM with a named, accredited mediator. £138 inc VAT for a standard online MIAM, or same and next-working-day urgent appointments. Call 0330 999 0959 if you would rather talk it through first.

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Quick answers

What happens at a MIAM: common questions

Will I have to be in the same room or call as my ex-partner?

No. MIAMs are conducted separately with each person, exactly so that safety and suitability can be discussed openly. Your ex-partner attends their own MIAM. If mediation goes ahead and both of you agree, joint sessions come later, and even then shuttle arrangements are possible where being in the same space is not appropriate.

What questions will the mediator ask me?

The mediator will ask what you are hoping to resolve, what you have already tried, and a set of structured questions about safety, including domestic abuse and any concerns about the children. These safety questions are standard and asked of everyone; they are how the mediator assesses whether mediation is appropriate.

Do I have to agree to mediation at the MIAM?

No. The MIAM is an information and assessment meeting, not a commitment. You are free to decide mediation is not for you, and the mediator can decide it is not suitable. Either way you can still apply to court with your signed form.

Will the mediator give me legal advice?

No. Mediators are impartial and do not give legal advice to either person. They give legal information and explain the process, and they will often suggest you take your own legal advice alongside mediation. If you want fixed-fee legal help, our sister service Family Law Service can assist.

What do I get at the end of the MIAM?

You get a clear outcome and next steps. If you need to apply to court, the mediator signs the relevant form, which is built into the C100 or Form A, or recorded on an FM1 for C1 and C2 applications. See the MIAM certificate and which forms need a MIAM.

How quickly will my form be signed?

For a standard MIAM the signed form follows promptly after your meeting. For an urgent MIAM, where you have a court deadline, this can be turned around the same or next working day.

Sources and further reading

Reviewed by Jess Knauf, Director of Client Strategy, Mediate UK. MIAM UK is a trading name of Family Legal Ltd. Last reviewed 12 June 2026.