MIAMs explained
Who needs a MIAM?
In most cases, the person who wants to apply to the family court, the applicant, must attend a MIAM before they can apply. The other person is invited to find out about mediation too, but is not required to attend the same meeting. Some situations are exempt from the requirement altogether.
Reviewed by Jess Knauf, Director of Client Strategy · Last reviewed 12 June 2026
Related: which forms need a MIAM · MIAM exemptions · is a MIAM compulsory
The person applying to court
In England and Wales, the law expects anyone applying to the family court about children, or about finances on divorce, to attend a MIAM first, unless an exemption applies. This comes from the Children and Families Act 2014. The idea is to make sure you have at least found out about mediation before asking a judge to decide.
In practice, this applies mainly to two kinds of application: child arrangements, made on the C100 form, and financial matters on divorce, made on the Form A. The applicant attends the MIAM and, if they go on to apply to court, includes a signed MIAM certificate with the form.
Does the other person have to attend?
No. Your former partner, the respondent, does not have to attend your MIAM. MIAMs are usually held separately, one person at a time. When you book, your mediator will normally contact the other person to invite them to their own MIAM and explain how mediation works.
They are encouraged to take part, because mediation only works if both people are willing. But if they choose not to, you can still get your certificate and apply to court. One person not engaging does not block the other from moving forward.
Do you attend together?
Usually not. The MIAM is an individual meeting. Each person has their own, and they are often on different days. It is a private conversation between you and the mediator about your situation and the options open to you, not a joint session with your ex.
Joint mediation, where you and the other person work through things together, comes later, and only if you both decide mediation is right for you. The MIAM comes first and helps you decide whether to take that step.
When you do not need a MIAM
Some situations are exempt from the MIAM requirement. The most common are evidence of domestic abuse, a genuine and urgent risk, current child protection involvement, and certain practical reasons that make attending impossible. If you have already reached a full agreement and only need it turned into a financial consent order, you do not need a MIAM at all.
The full list, and the evidence that applies to each, is on our MIAM exemptions page.
Situations people often ask about
| Your situation | What it usually means |
|---|---|
| We have agreed everything ourselves | If you only need a financial consent order to make your agreement binding, you do not need a MIAM. If anything is still in dispute and you may apply to court, you will likely need one. |
| My ex will not respond | You can still attend your MIAM, get your certificate and apply to court. The mediator records that the other person did not engage. |
| We were never married | The requirement is about the type of application, not your marital status. A child arrangements application (C100) needs a MIAM whether or not you were married. |
| There has been domestic abuse | You may be exempt, and you do not have to sit in a meeting, or mediation, with someone who has been abusive. See our exemptions page. |
Common questions
Who needs a MIAM, in short
Does my ex have to go to a MIAM?
No. Your former partner does not have to attend your MIAM. They will usually be invited to their own, but if they decline, you can still get your certificate and apply to court.
Do we attend the MIAM together?
No. MIAMs are individual meetings, held separately. Joint mediation only happens later, and only if you both agree to it.
What if my ex refuses to take part?
You can still attend your own MIAM and get a signed certificate. The mediator notes that the other person did not engage, and you are free to apply to court.
Do I need a MIAM for a financial consent order?
No. A consent order does not require a MIAM. If you have already agreed your finances and only need the court to make the agreement binding, there is no MIAM requirement. A MIAM is only needed for contested applications.
Does the applicant always need a MIAM?
For most child and financial applications, yes, unless an exemption applies, such as evidenced domestic abuse or genuine urgency. Our exemptions page lists them.
Can one MIAM cover both of us?
No. Each person needs their own MIAM with the mediator. The meeting and the assessment are individual.
Ready to book? You can book your MIAM online with a named, accredited mediator, or book a free 15-minute call first if you would like to talk it through.